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Saying Goodbye to the Pond

Detouring a bit from my usual blog.  This was originally written November 27, 2010.

Every time I walk to our pond, a few hundred feet downhill from our house, I ask myself why I don’t go down there more often!  It’s so beautiful and peaceful, quite a retreat really, and I rarely walk down to it.  I’m usually just too busy – what a terrible excuse!  During the fall or winter months, when the leaves are falling or gone, I can see it from my kitchen window as I wash dishes.  During the spring and summer months, when the trees are loaded with leaves, I can’t see it – but I know it’s there.   The pond is constant, tranquil, beautiful and quiet.  It never calls to me through the kitchen window, “Please come see me!”   It’s simply there and when I want to, or the occasion calls for it, I walk down.

Today was one of those occasions.  We have just over a month until we move out of our home of nearly 18 years, and since the whole family was here, I wanted all of us to walk down to the pond.  I was very nostalgic, knowing it was the last time we would take this trek as a family.  So down the hill (“over the river and through the woods” comes to mind right now) we walked to the pond.  One of our favorite spots is a clearing on the back side of the pond where a huge tree stands.  We buried our dog, Harley, under it when the kids were younger.  Today, the grandkids tried to climb a vine that had grown around the tree.  We all enjoyed the fun, even though I had to fight back tears thinking of leaving this place.

Then I stood and just looked at the pond.  Hardly a ripple marred its smooth, glass-like surface. I was reminded of the first day I saw it and fell in love.  I spotted my husband and oldest son across the pond standing on the levee.  He later told me they were reminiscing of times spent there fishing and camping. We took lots of pictures and then started our walk back up the hill to the house.  I stayed a little behind the others, turning around from several different angles to catch final glimpses of the pond. I was taking mental snap-shots to tuck away for future use. I didn’t cry, but I wanted to. I thought of how much I would miss that pond that I rarely went to see!

Walking back up the hill, the thought came to me that my relationship with Jesus is much like my relationship with our pond.  He is constant, ever present whether I can see Him or not.  I know He calls to me, “Please come see Me,” but I don’t always listen.  Of course, I go to Him when there’s an occasion – like a crisis or a problem. But just to sit with Him and enjoy His presence – I’m usually just too busy. What a shameful excuse!  When I do spend time with Him I am awestruck at how beautiful, tranquil, loving and glorious He is!

Today I was also reminded of the first time I fell in love with Jesus, how I couldn’t wait to spend time with Him.  Slowly things changed. Life happened. Ignoring Him during the week, I was content with just a weekend love affair at church. I had turned away from my first love.

I want that ‘first love’ relationship again. I want to see Jesus more often. I remember the times that He has come to my aid and seen me through difficulties and times spent with Him in worship.  But I want to make new memories – to see Him in His beauty, majesty and glory in a fresh way. I don’t want just mental snap-shots to tuck away for future use. I want an active, on-going love relationship with my Savior.  Lord, may it be so!

I guess it’s time to say goodbye to the pond.  I am so thankful that I will NEVER have to say goodbye to Jesus!


We moved to our new home in late December of 2010.  Guess what?  There’s a pond just down the hill from our house that we have access to whenever we like!  I’ve only been there once…some things never change.

Have you ever had to say goodbye to something you hold dear?  I’d love for you to comment.

john pavlovitz

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